we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
