Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
