i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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