11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
