He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
