took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
