So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
