There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
