i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
