I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
