So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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