At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
