She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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