I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
