My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
