So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
