their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
