I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
