Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
