apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
