theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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