the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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