Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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