We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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