I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
