He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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