you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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