Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
