Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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