hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
