Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
