i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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