I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
