you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
your like the ambassador to my penis.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
