I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
