She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
