we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
