U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
