i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
