disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
