Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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