I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is the high leading the old right now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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