You smell like a Billy Joel song
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
