no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
