We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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