I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
