Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
