I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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