singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
