If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
