Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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