Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
