Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
