Only a mothe r could love this liver
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
